Humour - நகைச்சுவை: கால் சென்ட்டர் கலாட்டாக்கள்!
கால் சென்ட்டர் கலாட்டாக்கள்!
கால் சென்ட்டர் என்றால் சும்மாவா? எத்தனை கலக்கலான நிகழ்வுகள். சிலவற்றைக் கொடுத்துள்ளேன்.அதிலும் கடைசி ஒன்றைப் படித்துப்பாருங்கள் - அசத்தலாக உள்ளது! கால் சென்ட்டர் பேச்சுக்கள்: ( வாடிக்கையாளருக்கும் பணியாளருக்கும் இடையே நடந்த பேச்சுக்கள்)
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1.
”என்னம்மா இரண்டு நாளா 0800 2100 ங்கிற நம்பரைச் சுற்றிக்கிட்டே இருக்கேன் லைன் கிடைக்க மாட்டேங்குதே?”
“எங்கேயிருந்து இந்த நம்பரைப் பிடித்தீர்கள்?”
“ஸ்பென்சர் பிளாசவில இருக்கிற டிராவல் கம்பெனி ஆபீஸ்லதாம்மா! கதவு மேலே எழுதியிருந்துச்சே அம்மா?”
“அது ஆபீஸ் திறந்திருக்கும் நேரத்தைக் குறிப்பது!”
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2
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug
the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now,
can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
3
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
4
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
5
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a
worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
----------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
6
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
7
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
8
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
9
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy
should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however,
he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect. '
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared. '
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light
that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from..'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!! !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
இது மீள்பதிவு. ஆறு ஆண்டுகளுக்கு முன்பு எனது இன்னொரு வலைத்தளமான பல்சுவைப் பதிவில் (http://devakottai.blogspot.in) வெளிவந்தது. வகுப்பறை அன்பர்களுக்காக அதை இன்று இங்கே வலை ஏற்றியுள்ளேன்.படித்து மகிழட்டுமே என்று கொடுத்துள்ளேன்!
அன்புடன்
வாத்தியார்
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வாழ்க வளமுடன்!
வளர்க நலமுடன்!
கால் சென்ட்டர் கலாட்டாக்கள்!
கால் சென்ட்டர் என்றால் சும்மாவா? எத்தனை கலக்கலான நிகழ்வுகள். சிலவற்றைக் கொடுத்துள்ளேன்.அதிலும் கடைசி ஒன்றைப் படித்துப்பாருங்கள் - அசத்தலாக உள்ளது! கால் சென்ட்டர் பேச்சுக்கள்: ( வாடிக்கையாளருக்கும் பணியாளருக்கும் இடையே நடந்த பேச்சுக்கள்)
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1.
”என்னம்மா இரண்டு நாளா 0800 2100 ங்கிற நம்பரைச் சுற்றிக்கிட்டே இருக்கேன் லைன் கிடைக்க மாட்டேங்குதே?”
“எங்கேயிருந்து இந்த நம்பரைப் பிடித்தீர்கள்?”
“ஸ்பென்சர் பிளாசவில இருக்கிற டிராவல் கம்பெனி ஆபீஸ்லதாம்மா! கதவு மேலே எழுதியிருந்துச்சே அம்மா?”
“அது ஆபீஸ் திறந்திருக்கும் நேரத்தைக் குறிப்பது!”
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2
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug
the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now,
can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
3
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
4
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
5
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a
worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
----------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
6
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
7
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
8
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
9
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy
should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however,
he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect. '
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared. '
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light
that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from..'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!! !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
இது மீள்பதிவு. ஆறு ஆண்டுகளுக்கு முன்பு எனது இன்னொரு வலைத்தளமான பல்சுவைப் பதிவில் (http://devakottai.blogspot.in) வெளிவந்தது. வகுப்பறை அன்பர்களுக்காக அதை இன்று இங்கே வலை ஏற்றியுள்ளேன்.படித்து மகிழட்டுமே என்று கொடுத்துள்ளேன்!
அன்புடன்
வாத்தியார்
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வாழ்க வளமுடன்!
வளர்க நலமுடன்!
பழையன திரும்புதல்
ReplyDeleteபழகிய திரைப்படத்திற்கும் உண்டு
பழைய படங்களின் பெயர்களே
புதிய படமாக வருகிறது..
சில ரீமிக்ஸ் பெயரில்
சில ரீ ஒர்க் பெயரில்
கால் சென்டர்
கலாட்டா எல்லாம்
கட்டாயம் நம்மை
முட்டாளாக்குகின்றன
ரோபோட்டுகாளக பணியாற்றும்
ரோமியோக்களை நினைத்தால்...?
வருத்தமாக இருக்கிறது. ஆனால்
வசதியாக வாழ்கின்றனர் அந்த
சென்டர்களை நடத்துபவர்கள்..
செல்லும் பணியை
செல்லா காசாக்கும் நம் இந்திய
செல்லங்கள் இதில் காலை வைத்து
மீளமுடியாமல் தவிக்கின்றனர்
மீட்க முயற்சி செய்யுமா இந்த அரசு
அனைத்துமே நல்ல நகைச்சுவைகள். 8வது back to future போல் back to past என்கிறார் போலும். வாய் விட்டு, முடியாவிட்டால் மனம் விட்டு சிரிக்கலாம்.
ReplyDeleteஐயா
ReplyDeleteகால் சென்டரில் வேலை பார்ப்பவர்கள் எல்லாம் ரொம்ப பாவம் ஐயா.