வாருங்கள், சிரித்து வைப்போம்!

வாருங்கள், சிரித்து வைப்போம்!

GRANDMA  IN  COURT.. Brilliant:-

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared
 for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; 

"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
 you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a  big disappointment to me.. 
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate  people and talk about them behind
 their backs. You think you're a  big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
 you never will  amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
 Yes, I know  you.."

The lawyer was stunned!  Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room
 and asked,  - 

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster.
 He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship
 with anyone  and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to  mention
 he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of  them was your wife. .
.Yes I know him."   

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet  voice said: 

"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me,  I'll send you to jail for
 contempt of court! 😜😋

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2
One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class.

Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Pappu?

Pappu: I would want a wife like the moon.

Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?

Pappu: No, no...

Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white?

Pappu: No, no...

Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon?

Pappu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning.

Professor fainted...
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3

5 star hotel chef calls his wife and asks:  enna dinner?

Wife : Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas, accompanied by a golden lentil spicy soup that was gently simmered with the choiciest handpicked southern spices and  the smouldering tang of organic tamarind

Husband : apdina ?

Wife : Sorum rasamum
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4
The best jokes heard in 2014

🔴Wife : Shall I prepare Sambhar or Rasam today . 
Husband : First make it, we will name it later 

🔴A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
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🔴A married man's prayer; 
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away. 
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, 
just reminding u......
---------------------------------
🔴A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight  ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"

Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"
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🔴Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today. 
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling?? 
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.. 
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that?? 
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
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 🔴Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
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 🔴A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months. 
Was the necklace FAKE? 
Nooooo! That was the deal :)
--------------------------------------------- 
 🔴A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
 Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
 Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
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🔴Best Slogan on a 
MAN's T-Shirt : 

"Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed"
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